Notes from a Pro-Vaxer

By Alice Vining

This is just to say HOORAY, I got shot #1 with Pfizer this morning. It was a piece o’ cake, with many  experienced pharmacists from all over the state of NH, well organized to poke all us Kendal-oldsters and make our appointments for #2.

Before needling my left arm, the Walgreens Pharmacy guy filled out a long form about my allergies and diseases (none), capped by the big questions:

Are you or might you be or do you plan to be PREGNANT?
X and X and X. No, no, and no.

“In your dreams,” I said.

He didn’t crack a smile. What a boring young man, I thought. Maybe he thought I looked a little bit pregnant. Oh, well.

One painless poke and I was sent to sit in the folding chairs.

Efficiency continued, and the line of lucky vaccine receivers over 80 tottered along. I collected my snacks and waited my fifteen minutes of recovery time.

I could overhear the pharmacist doing the requisite paperwork with an old gent in a wheelchair who was next in line.

“Date of birth? Heart disease? Diabetes? Bee sting allergy?”
Nope, nope, nope.

“Are you, might you be, do you plan to be PREGNANT?”

X marked the blank.

Neither one of these guys, the young one or the ancient one, cracked a smile.

Poor things, I thought, to go through Life like that. No bemusement.

I wish I had answered Yes, just to see what would happen.